Catch up day …
Today was a long day spent trying to catch up for lost time. There were projects galore back logged, new projects coming down the pipe, and a few unexpected twists and turns. Tonight I spent several hours by myself in the office trying to figure out what the heck happened to most of my outputted Camtasia files and why they all had this high pitched noise covering up the audio tracks. After much loading, reloading, installing, and reinstalling I think I may have come to find an answer. Its not one I like but what the hell. I found that if I upgrade to the latest version and re-output all the files through this new version that doesn’t use the flv method for video then all is well. Of course this will mean purchasing a new license and running countless batch edits on a project that is due at the end of next week. I can’t wait to run this one by the boss. Oh well, it worked and so far no body at Camtasia has returned my desperate tech support plea. So what else do I do, right?! After all this all I can do is laugh because yet another situation has come up where I have a ‘theory’ but no definite answers.
So I got home just a little while ago and now I’m hanging out with Bunny. She had a good day with Bryan and is feverishly chewing her bone right now. She seems to be tired and even a little sore tonight, but that makes sense because Bryan said she went outside to get the mail twice today and got plenty of exercise. I foresee a long night of snoring ahead … lol Oh and man does she need a bath!! I’m going to have to work on that Saturday morning.
Well that’s all I have for tonight. I’m mentally and physically beat. Time for some sleep. have a good day tomorrow kids.
Pebbles, tiny pebbles …
I know not the same as tiny bubbles but I still think its funny.
Ok, ok, so I have some issues … lol
I am feeling much better today and I am now able to get the stones out of my kidney. What a relief!! The surgery was a success and despite the strainer I am carrying around everything is back on track to normal again. Today brought a different kind of pain; well not so much pain as discomfort but progress no less. I am so very relieved to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Since I was home today I spent a good bit of time with Bunny and I am glad to say that she seems to be getting a little better. That or she is getting more accustomed to her right hind leg not working as it used to. Either way its good to see her get around more and get excited to get the mail again. She still requires help after a short while but that seems to be changing and she is walking more on her own, albeit slowly. If this course continues then I think its fair to say that she was the victim of the FCE and not degenerative myopia. That, is very good news.
Well kids that’s all I have for now. I’m going to eat some dinner and lay down. I suggest you do the same. Have a good day tomorrow.
Break’n it down …
I am going in today for an outpatient surgery called a lithotripsy. This is where they break down the kidney stones into little pieces with concentrated sound waves and you ”easily” pass them later. You go completely under with anesthesia so I’m a little nervous but also excited to finally be able to break these stones down into something I can pass. The last six days have been a heck of a roller coaster for me and I wold like this to be over. The x-rays I had yesterday gave the doctor a good feeling and he’s feeling fairly confident that this should work. If not, woah man … we’re talking seriously invasive surgery (to me anyway!) through a opening I would rather not mention, and then a few days of downtime. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.
Bunny girl is still doing about the same. Yesterday Bryan and I got her outside in the front yard to help get the mail and that was a bit of a task. At first she wanted no part of it, but once she was out there and we mentioned the word ‘walk’ she started off down the sidewalk. Bless her heart, she was trying to get to the familiar trees to do some sniffing but it was obviously hard for her and she was having to stop and rest here and there. After about five minutes, and fifty yards or so, we called it done and then helped her get back inside where she promptly laid down and slept for the next few hours. Later that evening she seemed to be a little more alert and spent some time after dinner chewing her bone. If nothing else her ‘hon’ry’ spirit is back and although she might not initially want to get up and moving, once we get her doing so she seems to be trying.
Ok kids, time for me to get going so I can have blood work done and then the surgery. Have a good day and see you on the flip side.
The white flag …
Bunny had a tough time night last night keeping her food down, so this afternoon I boiled some chicken and shredded it for her. I gave her a small bit at a time and that seemed to work out good. Tonight she seems to be feeling better and is even chewing a bone as she stares me down. As I type this I’m boiling some more chicken for her and I have a feeling she knows exactly what I’m doing. To me that’s a good sign and hopefully a trend we’ll see continue over the next few days and weeks. I’m still worried about her ability to walk, which she seems to be growing more accustomed to, but its her mysterious bleeding that has me really worried. I can’t find any evidence of a loose tooth or anything in her mouth so I just have to keep a good eye on that.
As for my kidney stones … unfortunately, they are still with me. I made the decision this morning to wave the white flag and call my boss to be removed from the show I was due to fly out on tomorrow so I can see a urologist. I’m going to wake up bright and early and start calling all the urology clinics in Dallas until I get an appointment, surely someone can fit me in. Tonight the pain hasn’t been as bad as it was during some points of this weekend but its still there. This is my third so round with kidney stones and the first time I have had a problem passing them. I’m confident that once I get in and see someone they can figure something out. Heck, blast them, go get them, I don’t care. Just make this pain go away so I can get back to life and working out. I have 5k’s to run in a few weeks and I need to make sure I am ready for those! So out with the stones already … lol
Ok kids, have a good day tomorrow and please keep Bunny girl in your thoughts and prayers.
Another roller coaster evening …
Last night after work I stopped off and bought Bunny a new bed, some ’safety’ pads, and some plastic sheeting. I wrapped the new bed in plastic sheeting covered it with a nice soft blanket and plopped Bunny down on it. She seemed very happy and comfortable on it. 
Bunny surprised us a little later by getting up on her own, making her way over to her food, and standing there while eating. She did it so non de-script that we hardly even noticed she did it too! That was a very high moment for the evening. The remainder of he evening was a little different however.
I ended up having some serious pain and apparently at one point passed out from it. While that happened Bunny got herself into the trash and ate the remnants of a calzone. When I woke up a short while later it was to Bunny trying to get up and drink some water, so I helped her get there and then we headed outside for her business. At this point I didn’t know she had raided the trash and thought all was well. We retired back to the bedroom and I spent the next hour or so slamming bottles of water trying to pass these damn stones. No luck there. So after a while I went back to bed. I was woken up a short while later by Bunny trying to get up again, so once more I helped her get towards the door, and we almost made it before she had an accident. I managed to get her outside and she finished but then after getting her back inside and cleaned up I had to tend to the mess. After that I went back to bed only to be woken up a short while later by Bunny puking all over her bedding. This was when I noticed what she was puking and that she had got into the trash. The poor girl was just a mess and so was everything around her. So once more I got up got her cleaned up and tended to the mess. Not ten minutes after getting back to bed she started puking again. So another round of cleaning and tending ensued and again I went back to bed. Not long after that I had some of the worst pain I have ever had and thought for sure I would pass the stones. But nope, no luck. Three bottles of water later I was bloated, exhausted, and frustrated. It took a while for me to get back to sleep after that and luckily that was all the evening had for me.
This morning I woke up around nine and started calling urology clinics and doctors, but unfortunately they were all closed. I was really hoping to pass these stones last night but I now realize that it may not happen on its own and I may have to go back to the ER. I rested until about 11am and then had to go out and get my prescriptions for the oral surgery I am having the day after I return from this next show. Luckily there is some pain medication in those and I can take that now but that’s not going to help me much. I really need to pass these things before I am scheduled to leave again. The idea of having to deal with another out of town ER during the next show is frightening.
Bryan and I did manage to get several rugs for the house today. These should help Bunny girl get around easier than she was on the concrete floors. Not exactly what I had planned for this weekend, or my paycheck. but I am still rolling with what has been a wild week so far.
Tonight I am feeling fairly bad. I still have pain and its coming in waves now so I’m hoping this will be the night. Bryan is keeping an eye on me and if I get much worse he has promised to take me to Presby. But like I said, I am going to keep being hopeful and keep slamming bottle after bottle of water to try and kick these stones to the curb.
Bunny is finally resting at home
Today I received the report on Bunny’s spinal cord test … inconclusive. I suppose this is a good thing since it didn’t confirm anything worse. But then again it didn’t really get us any closer either. So at this point we just have to think its an FCE and that she will make progress over the next few days to weeks. The surgeon was very candid in his assessment and I appreciated that. He said that if we could give her the time and effort to help her, then he felt she would probably make a recovery, maybe not a full one, but a recovery no less. But then again we may see no improvement at all in the next few days or so and she could go down hill from here. So the surgeon and I agreed, it’s a crap shoot.
Tonight Bunny is resting at home on her bed, enjoying all the attention she’s getting from Bryan and I. A short while after getting her home I managed to get her to stand up, albeit with my help, and eat some food as well as drink some water. Then we had our first trip outside for ‘business’ and that went well. It looked like the poor girl hadn’t peed in a week! But now she is as I said, relaxing on her bed. I think she’s glad to be home in a familiar environment.
Me on the other hand, I’m in excruciating pain right now. I think I jarred something loose when I was helping her and then after that, like an idiot, I ran to the pet store for cat food and to Linen’s and Things to try and find some thick egg crate to make Bunny a better bed. I had no luck with the egg crate and it was all I could do to get myself home without curling up in the driver’s seat. I’m trying like hell to stay upright so this thing will pass. If you’ve never had a kidney stone, then let me be the one to tell you, these things suck. I feel like someone is kicking me in the kidney from the inside. They say this is the closest thing a man can get to labor pains and I tell you what … Ladies my hat is off to you. If men had to go through this for a baby we’d all be doomed.
Goodnight kids, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, and please keep them coming as we go through what might be a tough next few weeks. And with that I am drinking another bottle of water.
Another day and another diagnosis (for both of us) …
This morning Bunny underwent several tests with the expectation of finding either the slipped disc or a tumor and neither of those showed up. The neurologist said her scans were normal and now we’re leaning towards either the FCE or a case of degenerative miloma. I was told that if it’s the degenerative miloma then she will have good and bad days but probably not see any improvement in her condition. If it is the FCE, and that’s what he is leaning more towards, then we have a good chance of recovery and with time she will be ok. The spinal cord apparently can re-vascularize itself around the blood clot and with time and help she will regain the motor skills in her hind legs. This was good and potentially bad diagnosis, but at least we’re narrowing down the possibilities.
I was also told that her thyroid level was low and that she may have a case of hypothyroidism. This would explain a number of things with her including her low level of activity and her being overweight despite not being fed too much. Yesterday when I heard that she was overweight I thought to myself “that’s weird” because I have lowered her food intake several times over the last two years to compensate for her weight and I thought that was under control. So this makes sense.
Tomorrow I expect to hear about the tests on her spinal cord fluid and hopefully that will get us closer to an answer and start us down a course for recovery. She is spending another night at the surgery center and hopefully if all goes well with the tests then I can bring her home tomorrow sometime. I really hope that is the case, as I believe she will recover, from whatever she might be able to, much better in a familiar surrounding. Being a rescue dog I want to make sure that she doesn’t feel abandoned again and stop pushing and trying. But we’ll know more tomorrow and cross that bridge when we get there. Right now I will just keep praying for a good outcome and ask that you do the same.
Not being a deeply religious man myself, I found what happened to me this morning to be quite a twist of fate. I had been praying to the great being in the sky to let me endure some of her pain in exchange for her possible recovery. Well it happened, sort of. I woke up at 2am this morning in my hotel room in excruciating pain and soon realized that I had a kidney stone. So after rationalizing this to myself (and trying to tell myself this couldn’t possibly be happening) I packed my stuff up in the room, drug myself down to the front desk, checked out, and got in a cab for the emergency room.
I spent several hours in the Oconor Hospital ER undergoing my own CAT scan and low and behold I was right, I have a 4.5mm x 3.1mm stone in my left kidney. How’s that for a answer from the person upstairs!? Karma and fate … they are not things to be messed with … lol
So after being shot up with several strong doses of pain killers and rebooking my flight, I left San Jose early this morning with the intent to get home quickly so I can pass this stone at home and not in a California hospital or hotel room. I got home about 2pm today and after making my round of calls to all those awaiting news on Bunny, I had Bryan drive me to the pharmacy to get more pain killers and medication that the hospital prescribed for me. Funny thing though, since they are out of state prescriptions I can have all of them except the pain killers. Nice … there’s that karma and fate thing again … lol
It’s nice to be able to laugh about this, but at the same time I am still in quite a bit of pain myself. This is my third round of kidney stones and I know what I have to do and what is coming in (hopefully) the next few hours or so. The hospital was nice enough to give me two perkysets so at least I had those. But even if you’re not a deeply religious person this experience should make you raise and eyebrow and say “hmmm, that’s pretty wild”.
Today’s Update on Bunny
Bunny had an examination with a neurologist this afternoon and I was given yet another possible diagnosis.
At this point it looks like she has either FCE, a tumor, or a slipped disc. The surgeon was leaning more towards the slipped disc and although that is a serious issue requiring surgery, at least we have some recourse with that. In no simple terms, if it turns out to be FCE then I have to debate a quality of life issue and make a very hard decision. If it turns out to be either the tumor or the slipped disc then we can operate and shoot for a recovery. The recovery time is dependent on the animal and their willingness to want to get up and start moving again. Based on that, as well as several other factors, everyone involved felt like Bunny was a good candidate for surgery. So tonight she is having blood work done and staying at the surgery center. Tomorrow morning she will have a CAT scan to start with and if that doesn’t help with the diagnosis then we will move onto the milogram. If at any point during either of those two tests the surgeon finds something that can be, or needs to be operated on, then they are going to call me to make sure I want this done.
You might think this is a no brainer of a decision, and in some respects it is, but we are talking about a serious amount of money here, and I am not a rich man. The initial estimate for the cost of the milogram and the other tests have more than doubled, and that’s just for the testing phase. The cost of surgery, and the rehab process that will take one to three months afterward is going to be considerably more. With that said we come back to a quality of life debate.
In my mind, if I do not go with the tests then we are at a very low quality of life. If I go with the tests and then find out it is operable and do not go forward with the surgery, then we are at the same very low quality of life. So at this point I feel that my options are to either stop here, or go forward with the tests, with the understanding that when and if they find something operable, I say go for it.
To me, I feel like the only way I can live with myself is to go for option number two. That’s why barring any new pop ups, like multiple tumors or something that would exponentially drive up the already incredible cost, I will be green lighting the surgery.
This is by far one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. The recovery phase for Bunny is going to be very involved and require lots of time, effort, and money. I am very lucky to have a brother willing to help in many ways right now. One who is accepting where this is headed and is not shying away from it at all. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am very fortunate.
The last few days have been quite a roller coaster, full of emotions both high and low. I feel better now about things than I did last night, but I also understand what I just committed myself to. With as much as I have been through in the last few days I understand that tomorrow could bring yet more unexpected turns. I’ll just have to keep things in perspective and roll with them.
Please keep those thoughts and prayers coming. Thank you.
Update on Bunny
As of this morning Bunny’s condition has not changed. She is still able to walk only a short bit at a time and then requires help. According to Dr. Robinson she is eating and drinking and using her ‘Pyr. Paw’ to try and get attention. She wants to get up and move around but just can’t, so at least my girl’s spirit is still there.
I went ahead and made the appointment to have her see a neurologist (Dr. Lang) today and do whatever test he feels will help. I am very fortunate to have a brother and good friend Joann to step in during my absence and take her to this appointment at 3pm today. For that I am grateful. I am also very grateful for all the kind messages and prayers Bunny and I have received from you. Please keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming.
I will post more news as soon as I have it.
Bunny Girl
I spoke with the veterinarian several times today and Bunny’s diagnosis took a few turns during that time. This morning I found out she may have a ruptured disc, an FCE, or very very bad case of arthritis. Dr. Robinson was extremely kind and took the time to explain all this to Bryan and discuss a few options. He promptly called me and this is what I found out … I could have her get X-Rays to see if it was maybe something relatively simple and then start her on heavy cortisone shots, or I could send her for a milogram test to check if it was in fact the ruptured disc or FCE. The milogram test costs $1000 and might not be definitive either way. FCE is a blood clot in the spinal cord, something I had never heard of before, and can be treated with anti-inflamatory medication. If we find out that it is a ruptured disc then we are looking at major back surgery. I asked if she was in pain and was told that she was not in too much, but was just understandably uncomfortable.
I called my best source of information on these matters and confidant, Joanne. We talked about the test, how much it was, and if in fact it would garner any real solutions. Let me just say that money in this case is not an object. However, it was suggested that we start simple, go with the X-Rays and cortisone shots and go from there. That was what I was thinking too so I called Dr. Robinson back and she agreed.
A few hours later Dr. robinson called me back to let me know that when they were rolling Bunny over to get the X-Rays they noticed that she had a serious infection in her vulva. She said that this combined with the many signs of arthritis she found on the X-Rays could maybe be causing some of her problems, but probably not all of them. She was treating her for the infection and at that time we agreed to stay on course and go for the cortisone shots.
I spoke to Dr. Robinson just a few minutes ago and Bunny is not responding to the first round of shots. She suggested that Bunny stay the night with her and that she reassess her condition in the morning and try another round. At that time I point blanked her on a few things. I asked her if she would be willing to treat her as if she has the FCE and administer the anti-inflamatory medication. In my mind if she didn’t respond to that then we would know it was in fact a ruptured disc. However, I was told that animals do not always respond to the anti-inflamatory medication and it may not help or give us a definitive answer either way. Besides we were basically treating her for it already with the cortisone shots, which are anti-inflamatory medication. She also said that if we do decide to treat her for a ruptured disc and go with the surgery she may not respond to that either. She said the other variable with anti-inflamatory medication is time. To which of course I asked how long? Would I have her on medication for several days or weeks before we would know anything? Not that I wouldn’t do that. I will do whatever is necessary for my Bunny girl. Would the test help get us on the road to a solution? But Dr. Robinson said that even with the test, if she cannot get an animal to somewhere close to where they should be in 48 hours under this type of treatment then they usually will not respond at all.
Tonight Bunny is resting at Dr. Robinson’s. It hurts me to know she is in a strange place and might be alone without her family tonight, but this is what the doctor suggested and I am taking her advice. So for now I am praying for her and keeping positive thoughts in my head. I ask that you do the same. If there is a higher spirit that you believe in please ask them to help her.
Like I said in an earlier post, I am trying to keep this in perspective and remain strong. But I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t extremely upset and worried. Bunny is my girl and has been my rock for the last few years. We have been together and supported each other through some very difficult times. We have laughed and we have cried together and I am having a hard time imagining life without her. I know life is what life is, and that it is not always fair. Right now its time for me to suck it up and remain strong. For the both of us. Please pray kids.
Get a grip will ya’ …
This morning I woke up with the burning feeling that I need to get a grip. Yes, Bunny is having some issues and I’m worried about her, but what would I do if I had a child and this had happened to them? Perspective is something I need to keep in mind these days. Lately when things like this happen I tend to have this ‘jeez, what now?!’ approach, and that’s not doing me any good. Maybe its the upcoming holidays and pending birthday that are weighing me down? For the past few years this time of year has obviously been difficult for me, during which I find myself having feelings of jealousy. I too want the family, the children, the proud moments spent with parents that are now grandparents. But I suppose that like anything else in life the more you want ‘it’ the less you see the forrest for the trees and you tend to narrow your focus on the specific things you do not have as opposed to seeing the big picture and those things that you do have. I know that sounds a little deep for me but I have been listening to the readings of Eckhart Tolle lately and I think they are starting to sink in.
This morning Bunny was able to get up on her own, albeit very shaky, get outside and do some of her business. I was by her side the whole time and while she seemed determined to be able to do things herself she did require a little help to get back into the house and is now laying down resting on her bed.
So as I leave for San Jose I am going to try and keep things in perspective, realize that you can only do what you can do, not dwell on the ridiculousness of a job that is only a job, and enjoy the life that I do have. Not the one I don’t.
See you on the flip side kids.
Flickr Video
My Poor Bunny Girl
Bunny is now having problems standing and/or walking. This has come on extremely fast and is very worrisome. The poor girl is in obvious pain and can barely make it a few feet at a time before collapsing. Over the last few years she has definitely had a progressively harder time standing up after lying down but this is something completely different.
The full impact of just how serious this is came to light today when we tried to go to the Richardson Pet Day. She was fine when we left the house but once we got there she barely made it out of the parking lot before I knew something was seriously wrong. Luckily this was a pet day and I was surrounded by veterinarians. I quickly had one of them looking at her and was told that she may have thrown out her hip, blown a di
sc in her back, or have a serious case of arthritis. I was given many business cards and urged to get her immediate care. The vet’s then grabbed a volunteer and a John Deer cart and we were driven back to my truck where we loaded Bunny up into the backseat.
I promptly called the one person I truly trust in matters like this, Joanne. Since I was less than a mile from her house I quickly got over there and we made some plans. Joanne gave Bunny 2 shots of pain medication and I called the regular veterinarian we have been seeing. I was lucky enough to have Dr. Robinson herself answer the phone and after explaining the situation to her we arranged for Bunny to be brought in first thing Monday morning. Until then Bunny is going to be resting with the help of the pain medication from Joanne supplemented with baby aspirins. Bryan and I are helping her get around the house, although we’re trying to really trying to get her to stay on her bed and rest. But then again, if you know Bunny at all you’ll know just how stubborn she can be and if she wants to move across the room to lay closer to us, all we can do is place a towel under her hips and help her. She may be in pain but damn is she strong, strong willed, and determined.
For the last few hours Bunny has been on her bed in the living room with Paloma lying by her side. She has tried unsuccessfully to get up several times and we have luckily been able to keep her in one place. I am really worried about how she is going to deal with getting outside to do her business, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there in a few hours.
Of course this comes at a horrible time since I will be leaving tomorrow afternoon for three days in San Jose, CA. Therefore, Bryan and Joanne will be taking her in on Monday morning and I am very grateful for that. I am indeed very lucky to have this much help.
The plan is for Bunny to get whatever tests she needs and for her to stay with Dr. Robinson as long as necessary. As soon as I know something I’ll post it. But until then please say a prayer for my Bunny girl and keep her in your thoughts. Thank you.
